Marion's Communication Tips

What Communication Skills do YOU Want to Hone in 2012?

It's hard to believe that we'll soon be saying goodbye to 2011. It's a time of reflection, hope, celebration of past accomplishments and planning for future ones.

One of the things I'm most grateful for is my valued MarionSpeaks community (you're a part of that!). Every week, as I write my "Marion's Communication Tips", I think about how I could help you with your communication challenges in the workplace. The last few weeks, I've been busy putting together a surprise. I'll tell you more about that soon.

For now, let me share with you some of the top communication challenges you've told me throughout the year that are causing you headache, or that you would simply like to improve. Drumroll please ...

TOP DOZEN COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES:

1. How to engage your employees
2. How to raise your profile (and add value) in the workplace
3. How to communicate at your next job interview
4. How to deal with different communication styles (i.e., difficult people)
5. How to prepare and present presentations that POP!
6. How to assert yourself
7. How to appear confident (even when you don't feel it)
8. How to apply winning strategies at work ... and life
9. How to read and use body language
10. How to face your chicken within (burst through your fears)
11. How to deal with uncertainties life rolls in your direction
12. How to mix 'n mingle at biz social events

Perhaps you see yourself in the list above. Or maybe you actually contacted me sometime in the past year with questions on one of these subjects. Either way, you and your MarionSpeaks community members have all told me that these are your burning communication issues that are holding you back.

I've been working on some solutions that I'll be sharing with you in the next week or so. Stay tuned (I'm so excited, I'm practically busting! Can't wait to share with you what I've come up with).

Identifying the areas you'd like to work on is the first big step to growing that skill. A clue of what areas may be worth your attention is given by the list above. Read that list and discover what subjects attract you? What do you find yourself drawn to? What is of greatest interest? Our brains naturally look for answers and are sensitized to finding solutions. What you're drawn to in the "Top Twelve" list, may be an indication of something worth pursuing.

Whatever your communication challenges may be, know that you're not alone. I speak to over a thousand people every year, and one thing I've learned is that we all have communication challenges. Over the next year, I look forward to sharing with you some of the solutions I've developed, so that your 2012 will be the best communication year yet!

Here's to a wonderful 2012 full of constructive and useful communication! Here's to better communication, better business, better life. Happy 2012 everyone!

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Don't Say No

Do you know someone who is quick to say "no"? A bit of a buzz kill, isn't it? Sometimes, it's easy to say no and tougher to find a way to say "yes".

Years ago, I told my employees, "You're not allowed to say 'no'". When I first introduced them to this concept, the perplexed look on their faces said it all. They weren't quite sure how to respond or what to do. They weren't even sure why I would ask such a thing. You may be wondering the same thing now.

Don't say no - give options.

It all stems from a sense of service. I bet you don't want to hear "no" when you ask someone to do something, right? You want to hear "yes", in some shape, size or form. It's amazing that this small word "no" has such a big meaning. It sounds final, black and white, discussion over, decision made. Not exactly what you were hoping for when you asked the question of someone, is it? Of course, you'd prefer to hear "yes".

The old saying about customer service, "the customer is always right" stems from that concept of saying "yes", validating the client and giving him or her what they are asking for, want and need. Those "clients" can be your colleagues asking you for some information, or your boss asking for another task, or your employees requesting a favor. There's definitely a place in your life for "no" - and that place is not found in customer servicve. It's about saying "yes". Apart from customer service ...

... imagine if you changed your thinking to stop saying "no" to challenges.

Think about the opportunities you would embrace, the risks you might take and the successes you would enjoy. Of course, you might fail every now and then - and if and when you did, you'd know that you gave it your everything. 

You might remember a 2008 Jim Carey movie called, "Yes Man". It was a funny story about this fellow who couldn't say "no" to anything. As you may likely guess, he got himself into some situations where the hilarity ensued. The interesting thing that happened was that Jim Carey's character found himself in many exciting and unexpected adventures that he would have otherwise missed. He figured out a way to say "yes".

There's a place for "no" in your life, for sure. However, when you replace "no" with other responses, you open up a world of possibilities -- not just for your clients, also for yourself. Saying "yes" doesn't mean observing every term and condition that was presented to you. It's about saying "yes" in a way that works for you.

In the short-term, when someone asks you something, it may be awfully tempting to answer with a quick "no". Before you do, ask yourself if this response is going to serve you and your needs in the long run. If not, try figuring out a way to say "yes" to what comes in your direction. It might be an opportunity in disguise. If nothing else, it will be a chance for you to create some options and change how you think. That change just might be what will make the difference in your relationships.

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

The Art of Proper "Complaining"

It happened to me just today. I was in a line-up at a large big box store (I won't mention the name - suffice to say they have lots of food samples, and endless lines at the cashier). I did a quick sweep, got the items on my list and headed for the cashier with the shortest line-up. None of them were short ... I said, "shortest".

After waiting what seemed like an inordinate amount of time, I realized that there seemed to be some complication with ringing through the gentleman at the front of the line. Maybe it was his card or the price on some item, I'm not sure. All I know is that help had to come and sort through.

Meanwhile, the line behind me grew ... and grew impatient, myself included. I had a presentation to finalize, photocopies to make, handouts to get ready. I wanted to leave. Perhaps it was this sense of urgency I had (and their lack of it) that heightened my sensibilities. I noticed things I wanted to complain about.

I couldn't hold it inside anymore. I turned to the guy behind me, a young chap in his 20s, and said, "wow, I can't believe that there are such lineups at every cashier, yet they have a couple cashes closed. Why on earth would they do that?".

He looked at me somewhat puzzled. OK, maybe "puzzled" is being kind. His expression shouted, "why is this woman speaking to me?", and you know something - he was right. He might have thought I was looking for him to somehow magically solve the problem. I wasn't. I was simply satisfying my need to vent and looking for some consensus regarding how ridiculous this wait was.

In that moment it hit me. I was reminded of what I tell my clients before they assert themselves and speak up:

Decide whether you want a solution or just need to vent.

In the words of Stephen Covey, "Begin with the end". Know WHY you feel the urge to speak up. It's really not complaining. It's satisfying a need. You either want to find an answer to a troubling question or you want emotional validation.The two reasons take on different approaches.

Letting the other person know the outcome you're expecting is helpful. This way, they know how to respond. Do you want a listening ear and validation? Or do you want some options and solutions?

Of course, if venting is your objective, turning to friends and people who know you is infinitely more effective than some young guy in a grocery line-up, though both serve the purpose of finding reassurance that your position is valid and can be seen and appreciated by others. Sometimes, that validation alone is enough.

If it's a solution you're looking for, that's very different. Turning to those who know you or are in a similar situation may feel good, but it's not going to do anything toward solving the problem. Instead, speak to a decision-maker, someone in a position to create change in the area of concern. Sometimes ferreting out who this person is can be a challenge in itself, especially in large, bureaucratic organizations. A great approach is to start with the phrase,

"I'm hoping you can help me."

It puts people in "receive mode", gives them esteem in that you're elevating their position to one seen as someone who has the power to assist, and it's respectful and polite.

Next time you feel the need to "complain", think of it instead as asserting yourself. Decide what you want before you start and I assure you, it will increase your chances that you'll get it. Now, wouldn't you rather be known as a strong, assertive communicator rather than a complainer? Now you have one more tool to do exactly that.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com