Marion's Communication Tips

Asking for help is tough, isn't it? You may fear appearing incompetent. You don't want people to think you were a big fake and don't know something they figure you should (PS: you're not a fake at all - no one knows everything). We keep on telling yourself, "everyone else seems to cope, why can't I?". Well, here's a light-bulb moment ... people who ask for help often get it. Those who don't, suffer silently (or worse yet, not so silently).

Here's some tips on how you can ask for help effectively next time you feel you need it. Give them a try.

TIPS ON ASKING FOR HELP:

• DON'T WHINE. No one wants to hear the "oh poor me" story.
  • Present the details factually. Remove the emotion -- that doesn't mean remove the "human impact". By all means, include that, as it's a vital part of the business case. Avoid being emotional yourself when you describe it.
• MAKE THEM LOOK GOOD. Tell these people what's in it for THEM if they help you.
  • When you present to decision-makers, think about the outcome of what you're suggesting, and link it to how this outcome will make them look good. Once they have a vested interested, bingo -- you've got them hooked. Now they're listening.
• MAKE IT A TRIAL. When you're asking for a commitment, make it bite-size. It's easier for someone to commit to a short-term, low-investment idea. It lowers their risk factor and feels more comfortable.
  • This really works. Some time ago, I had a boss who refused to approve me hiring an administrative assistant. My team and I were being pulled away from core duties and drowning in all the administrative burden. My several requests to hire help fell upon deaf ears. Finally, a colleague suggested to me to hire a "term". The idea of a 6-month commitment was way easier to sell and the very first time I pitched this idea, my boss approved it. After the six months, it became obvious that the admin help was priceless (as every great admin person knows) and what began as a temporary fix became a permanent solution. Asking for a smaller commitment was instrumental in getting what we needed.
• BE BLATANT. Subtlety is wasted on most people. Know exactly what you need and ask for it.
  • One weekend a friend called saying that she was bringing over a few rented movies. She mentioned in passing that it was the last night of her high school's year-end play. After dinner, I asked if she wanted to watch the movie and she again, casually mentioned the play. Upon prodding, poking and probing on my part (eeks, too much work!), I managed to extract from her that she had really wanted to see that play. Unfortunately, it was too late in the night, the play was already started and it was too late for her to speak up. Her hedging around the bush and using indirect communications resulted in frustration and disappointment on both our parts.

You deserve to have your needs heard and met and the first step to that, is giving them a voice.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks