Marion's Communication Tips

WEBINAR: How to Give the "Best You" Job Interview (March 15 @ 2pm) -- Grab Your Seat NOW!

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Have you ever gone to a job interview and absolutely bombed? You stumbled over questions you know you could answer and then, much to your chagrin, you thought of the perfect response a day later. Or maybe you were so nervous, your brain shut down completely and went blank. Your nervousness may have been misperceived as lack of confidence in your ability to do the job and the interview went downhill from there.

It was a painful experience you promised yourself you would never live it again. Here's the good news.

This Thursday, you could change how you present yourself at your next job interview ...

Imagine feeling confident about job interviews, being sure how to respond to those dreaded questions, and know how to present the "best you" and up your chances for landing your dream job. If this is where you want to be and how you want to feel, then this Thursday, March 15 one-hour webinar is for you. You'll discover:

how to use your body language to let them know you're really interested in this job
secrets to build your confidence
tips to make a great first impression ... even before you begin the interview
the one thing NEVER to ask at a job interview
how to respond to your most dreaded interview questions
what to do before, during and after the interview to increase your chances of success

Thursday, 15 March 2012 Webinar... $99.

WEBINAR: THE "BEST YOU" JOB INTERVIEW.

http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

There are many reasons why people succeed or fail at job interviews. After decades of hiring employees and being interviewed myself, I've learned how good communication can make job interviews ... and job interviews can make or break careers. In one short hour, I'll share dozens of tips and suggestions that could make a difference to you and your career.

"Excellent presentation -- wish it was longer!", "Could have listened for hours", "An uplifting and encouraging presentation -- well done!"
Attendees of Marion's webinars

Executives have paid $250 for an hour of my coaching advice. Organizations invest 4-digit figures for me to present for an hour. And your investment for one hour live webinar hour with me is a fraction of these fees at only $99. If you land that new job, will you be making $99 more than you do now? Likely, you will.

YOU: "But I'm at work and can't listen to the live webinar"

ME: "No problem -- I email you a weblink to the recording you can listen to at your convenience!"

If you can't make the live webinar, don't worry about it. You can email your questions in advance and you'll get a handout along with a weblink so you can listen to the session multiple times when it's convenient for you.

One hour, and you can change your next job interview. The choice is yours.

LIMITED CAPACITY, SO GRAB YOUR SEAT TODAY: http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

While you're checking out this webinar, take a peek at my webinar packages for extra savings. You can choose from a collection of 12 amazing monthly communication webinars. Register for one webinar ... or get a package of 3, 6, 9 or the dynamo dozen. The more you buy, the more you SAVE.

PS: If you're interested in taking advantage of the EXTRA SAVINGS with the webinar packages and prefer to pay in installments, email me at Marion@MarionSpeaks.com and I'll arrange multiple payments for your convenience.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

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Facing the Chicken Within

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sometimes communications can be scary. Maybe a certain person intimidates you. Or perhaps you've been asked to talk on a subject you know little about. Or you have zero time to prepare. Whatever the reason, there are moments we all experience hesitation before we speak. If there’s a call you need to make, or someone you want to connect with but feel frightened to do so, here’s a tip gleaned from a chapter, “Facing the Chicken Within” penned by me and my sister, Joan Grobb Augustino, fellow author, trainer and professional speaker (www.coreperformancegroup.com)

Push to peak performance: When we’re frightened, we get that little jolt of adrenaline. Channel that energy to your performance -- don't waste it on nerves. Let F-E-A-R stand for “face, embrace and replace” fear with action. Pick up that phone and call who you need to call. Use that adrenalin to add energy to your voice and move yourself to action.

Fear doesn’t need to hold you back. In fact, if you listen to your chicken within, it can push you ahead and point you to areas of great growth. So get out there, and start communicating with pluck!

Begin small. Think of one tiny communication challenge you are afraid of doing and what a difference it would make in your life. Imagine if you spoke with authority, communicated assertively, developed instant rapport with others. Whatever communication goal you have, take a small step in that direction. Make it tiny and not time-consuming so you will be sure to do it. Return that phone call you've been ignoring. Go for coffee and nuture informal communications. Try saying a couple words in a new language ... in front of people. Make it bite-size, make it real, make it yours. Face, embrace and replace fear, with action. Even if that action begins as a small one.

PS: if you're interested in learning more about facing YOUR chicken within, check out that and all my upcoming and past webinars available to help you in 60-minute power hours http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words? Someone shoots a comment in your direction and you’d love to retort. The only problem is, you have no idea how to reply with a snappy comeback. Here's what you can do ...

Use “planned spontaneity”.

What exactly is “planned spontaneity”? It's a term I coined and define as a response that is planned ahead and delivered in such a way that it looks impromptu (and incredibly witty).

The beauty of this approach is that it gives you time to think in advance what you want to say and never be caught off guard and dumbfounded again. It removes the frustration of looking back at a situation with regret because two weeks too late you came up with the perfect response. It lowers stress and increases confidence with your communications because you know you are prepared to react to a situation should it arise. You might be asking, “How do I prepare for planned spontaneity?” Here’s the answer...

STEP 1: identify the scenarios that most often catch you off guard.

Think about your communications over the past couple weeks, months or year. What circumstances left you regrettably speechless?

Whatever the situation that left you wishing you had a witty and appropriate retort, if it’s happening frequently enough that you can think of several occasions when it really hurt, it may be worth recognizing this recurring pattern, the stress it evokes, and doing something about it. If you can’t see a pattern offhand, wait until next time you find yourself wishing you had a snappy response and then ask yourself if you’ve experienced a similar situation before. If the frequency and the discomfort is high enough, it may serve you well to invest some time and energy in step 2, below.

STEP 2: plan in advance what you’re going to say

In the quiet of your own time and space, explore options of how you could present your viewpoint while still being respectful. Brainstorm various responses with your end result in mind. What could you say that would honor your true feelings, represent you well and possibly help the other person for having heard it?

If you’re stumped and have no idea how to construct a wonderfully witty retort, become a student of human behavior and learn from others. Watch people in similar situations; see how they respond. If it works for them, consider adopting their approach. Watch TV and movie shows with an eye to inspiration. If the characters find themselves in situations like you do, how well does their response work? If it feels right and fits for you, give it a shot. Talk to trusted friends or colleagues to brainstorm constructive and productive ways to respond. At minimum, you’ll have a laugh coming up with ideas and beginning with the most outlandish responses (you can then refine them to a professional, tuned down version that will preserve your personal brand and professionalism).

Here are a couple examples...

In my world of professional speaking and training, there are situations that occur quite often that I used to squirm about. My original reaction was one of embarrassment or being completely stumped, shocked and speechless. With time, I identified a pattern and realized that these situations occurred with a degree of frequency. So, instead of being caught by surprise, I use the techniques above and prepared responses. Take a peek – perhaps you’ve experienced these same situations or maybe the responses I use could work for you too.

SITUATION:	RESPONSE:
You trip up on words during a presentation	“Yup, that’s right ... I’m a communications expert”, OR “Just washed my mouth and can’t do a thing with it” OR “Easy for me to say”
A technology snafu	“Technology is great ... when it works”, OR (when I was speaking at an IT conference) “Boy, am I in the right room to get help!”
You stumble over a chord or take a misstep	“Ladies, I’m a professional – please don’t try this at home on your own” OR, “Can anyone save me from myself?”, OR “Have you ever had one of those days?”

What’s your most recent situation where you found yourself tongue-tied and unable to come up with a witty response? I’d love to hear ... and maybe even offer a suggestion or two.

All the scenarios I've described above have actually happened to me and these are the real responses I’ve used. They work -- I know that, because they've worked for me time and time again, and your planned responses will work for you too. If they don't at first, you can refine them until they do.

You will have your own situations and come up with your own responses that fit your audience and your style. A suggestion you may find useful, is to poke fun at yourself with self-deprecating humor. Or, if it’s a common situation that everyone has lived (like the technology failure), mention it! Each person in the room will relate to your situation and you – and that’s how you connect with others.

Give “planned spontaneity” a shot, and you’ll find yourself less stressed, more confident, and able to laugh at the situation instead of fretting about it. Everyone will wonder how the heck you come up with amazingly witty, off-the-cuff replies. I promise, I won’t tell ;o)

PS: Want more hands-on communication tips for the workplace? Join me for my THIRD THURSDAY monthly webinars http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Ask for What You Need

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Last year I was coaching a team and sharing results from a "rate our team" questionnaire I'd developed and that they had filled in. When rating their areas where they wanted to improve, the number one thing that popped up was, "learning how to ask for help". That was an eye-opener for many around the table.

Asking for help is tough, isn't it? You may fear appearing incompetent. You don't want people to think you were a big fake and don't know something they figure you should (PS: you're not a fake at all - no one knows everything). We keep on telling yourself, "everyone else seems to cope, why can't I?". Well, here's a light-bulb moment ... people who ask for help often get it. Those who don't, suffer silently (or worse yet, not so silently).

Here's some tips on how you can ask for help effectively next time you feel you need it. Give them a try.

TIPS ON ASKING FOR HELP:

DON'T WHINE. No one wants to hear the "oh poor me" story.
- Present the details factually. Remove the emotion -- that doesn't mean remove the "human impact". By all means, include that, as it's a vital part of the business case. Avoid being emotional yourself when you describe it.
MAKE THEM LOOK GOOD. Tell these people what's in it for THEM if they help you.
- When you present to decision-makers, think about the outcome of what you're suggesting, and link it to how this outcome will make them look good. Once they have a vested interested, bingo -- you've got them hooked. Now they're listening.
MAKE IT A TRIAL. When you're asking for a commitment, make it bite-size. It's easier for someone to commit to a short-term, low-investment idea. It lowers their risk factor and feels more comfortable.
- This really works. Some time ago, I had a boss who refused to approve me hiring an administrative assistant. My team and I were being pulled away from core duties and drowning in all the administrative burden. My several requests to hire help fell upon deaf ears. Finally, a colleague suggested to me to hire a "term". The idea of a 6-month commitment was way easier to sell and the very first time I pitched this idea, my boss approved it. After the six months, it became obvious that the admin help was priceless (as every great admin person knows) and what began as a temporary fix became a permanent solution. Asking for a smaller commitment was instrumental in getting what we needed.
BE BLATANT. Subtlety is wasted on most people. Know exactly what you need and ask for it.
- One weekend a friend called saying that she was bringing over a few rented movies. She mentioned in passing that it was the last night of her high school's year-end play. After dinner, I asked if she wanted to watch the movie and she again, casually mentioned the play. Upon prodding, poking and probing on my part (eeks, too much work!), I managed to extract from her that she had really wanted to see that play. Unfortunately, it was too late in the night, the play was already started and it was too late for her to speak up. Her hedging around the bush and using indirect communications resulted in frustration and disappointment on both our parts.

You deserve to have your needs heard and met and the first step to that, is giving them a voice.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Public Speaking for Chickens

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Public Speaking for Chickens

Want to know a secret that will catapult your career or business? Learn how to speak in public.

Picture yourself managing a project. Your boss asks you to give an update at the staff meeting, or higher yet, at a board of directors meeting. This is your big chance. Or maybe you own a biz and you've been asked to speak to an audience chockablock full of potential clients. Wow, what an opportunity! The only thing between you and you having amazing impact on your biz, is your fear of public speaking.

"Give presentations" is one of the proven tips I share in my "Raising your profile (and adding value) in the Workplace" session. Presenting in front of clients, colleagues, bosses and employees positions you as the pro you are. When delivered with finesse and polish, public speaking shouts volumes of your professionalism ... and it shines the spotlight squarely on YOU and your expertise.

TIP: Give presentations to raise your profile (and add value) in the workplace.

I received an email recently from a woman in Michigan. She was interested in learning how to quell her fear of public speaking. She was smart because, as a small biz owner, she recognized the benefits of giving presentations to groups, conferences and venues that gathered her target audience. What was stopping her was her fear. She's not alone.

Do you ever suffer from cottonmouth, sweaty palms and shortness of breath when you stand in front of a group and speak? If you don't, wait - it’ll happen at some point, and when it does, here’s a few tips to keep your fears in check and face your chicken within:

Tips to tame the chicken within before you do a presentation:

Meet and Greet: Nothing calms nerves like getting to chat with as many audience members in advance as you can. Then, when you deliver your speech or presentation, you’re not talking to a group of strangers – you’re talking to individuals you’ve already met.
No one wants to hear a lousy speech: Tell yourself that every single person in that audience wants to be wowed (who wouldn’t?). Their mindset is already on your side. They’re cheering for you.
Serve your audience: Believe that your message is valuable to your audience, that you are imparting information they need to know or from which they will benefit. It’s all about service.

You have limited energy, so decide where you want to spend it.

If you let it all leak out through nerves, you'll have very little energy left to give your audience. Instead, consciously channel it to serve your audience and to get your message across. You are simply a vehicle for that message. If you're nervous about speaking in public, focus your mind and energies away from yourself and turn to the needs of your audience. What information do you have that someone else needs? Figure that out and how you can provide what they're looking for, and you're halfway there.

Face your chicken within, learn how to public speak and prepare to see your career and biz fly high.

Select from a variety of communication webinars, such as ...

"How to Raise Your Profile (and Add Value) in the Workplace" THURSDAY, 16 FEBRUARY 2012 @2pm EST

ONLY $99

REGISTER FOR THE WEBINAR PACKAGE THAT SUITS YOU (Buy more, Save more!) http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

PS: Are you planning a conference, employee gathering or management retreat and looking for presenters? I'd love to submit a proposal for your consideration. Please contact me Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication catalyst, author, and professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Get weekly hands-on tips by signing up for "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Avoid the Terrible Toos

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Thursday, December 01, 2011

Avoid the Terrible Toos

How you look affects how you feel and how much confidence you have. When you look great, you feel great. When you feel great, you have more confidence in almost everything you do, including communicating. You feel better about presenting yourself and your ideas.

Remember the last time you got an outfit that fit you like a glove? Or got a new haircut that really behooved you? When you looked at yourself, you felt different, perhaps more confident. You held yourself differently, stood a little straighter, walked with a little more attitude, and felt like you could take on the world. When you looked yourself in the mirror, the person who looked back at you was self-assured and welcomed the chance to share his or her thoughts, maybe even confidently present an alternative perspective.

Getting "that look" of confidence may seem like a pipe dream. Maybe you're not sure what "look" you're after. Maybe you don't know what to look for or what style would best suit you. Or it could be that costs are getting in the way. Whatever look you decide on, for whatever reason, there's a few guidelines that will help in your choices. I call them "avoiding the terrible toos".

AVOID THE TERRIBLE "TOOS":

Too tight, too bright
Too high-hemmed, too low-cut
Too old, too young
Too extreme, too boring

Avoiding extremes in how you appear will help you feel less self-conscious. It will help you to focus your limited energies on your communication instead of being concered about your appearance. It will also help those with whom you're communicating focus on your message instead of being distracted by how you look. Consider it as one less thing to worry about and one more strategy to improve how you communicate to connect.

You might not think about how your appearance affects how and what you communicate. Think again. Because if you don't consider it, you may realize another "too" -- too late.

PS: Marion, get an hour of hands-on, practical tips on how to feel and communicate more confidently this Thursday, 1 December 2011 at 2pm (EST) at my "Appear Confident (Even When You Don't Feel It)" webinar. You're going to be delighted at the amount of useful, hands-on info you'll be able to put to use immediately!

Have comments? Post them in the blog below!

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Are You Saying "Sorry" Too Much?

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Are You Saying "Sorry" Too Much?

When was the last time you said "sorry" ... to a piece of furniture? You bump into something or someone and the first words out of your mouth are, "I'm sorry". There are other options that might serve you better.

I recently had the pleasure of spending a laugh-filled week vacationing with a dear friend. Spending 24/7 with someone allows you the chance to become very familiar with their speech habits (or maybe it's just me who notices speech patterns because communication is "my thing"?). I found that my friend was saying "sorry", a lot.

We'd be driving somewhere and she'd mention a certain store she wanted to go to. "No problem", I'd say, adjusting the route as we drove. "Sorry", she said. For what? In case she inconvenienced me (she didn't).

I mentioned I was hungry because we were out shopping all day and missed the dinner hour. She said, "I'm sorry", implying that she was the reason we were late. I explained that there was no reason to be sorry -- I was a big girl and if I'd really wanted to eat, I would have.

I bought a little black dress she suggested I try on. In spite of my initial protests that I already had several LBDs, this one fit like a glove and I couldn't resist -- I bought it. The next day, she said, "Sorry I made you buy that dress". Nope, you didn't make me do anything. I exercised my own free will and take full responsibility for my decisions. No need to be sorry, especially when you were coming from a place of love and support.

How about you? Are you saying "sorry" when you really don't need to? My personal observation has been that women say "sorry" far more than men, and science now confirms this hunch to be true.

A colleague (thanks Grazina) shared with me that the September 2011 online issue of Psychology Science features a study involving 66 subjects over a 12-day period. These people self-reported the number of times they apologized and yes, women said it more often. The interesting point was that this study suggested that women may have a different definition of what is offensive and thus, feel compelled to apologize. (Conversely, this ability to read to between the lines and pick up on tone and nuance may also result in women feeling slighted when no insult was intended at all. Watch out ladies).

In a second study referenced in an article by Christie Nicholson of Scientific American online, three separate offences were rated by 120 subjects on a seven-point scale. Women consistently rated the three offences as more severe than men did. She explains, "Turns out that men are just as likely as women to apologize for a given offense, but their threshold for thinking they have committed an offense is higher".

There is certainly a time and place for "sorry" and frankly, some people need to say it more often. However, if you find yourself on the other end of the spectrum, before you utter that "sorry" word next time, consider these points:

You don't need to say "sorry" when you're not responsible
Instead of "sorry", say "excuse me"
You have a right to do and say what you wish, as long as you do so respectfully. No need to apologize for being yourself.

I hope that this gives you permission to stop apologizing if you find yourself doing so too much. And if you can't break the habit, well then, that's a real sorry situation ... that will improve with practice. Nothing to be sorry about.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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How to Make a Great First Impression

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Monday, October 24, 2011

How to Make a Great First Impression

It's a funny thing about first impressions -- they're lasting. If the impression you leave is a good one, it will cast a positive light on every following encounter. This "halo effect" sets the tone for your relationship. Conversely, if the impression you make is less than favorable, that works against you. It means you have to work extra hard to switch negative feelings to positive ones.

Who wants that? You sure don't. Here's a few things to be aware of next time you're meeting someone for the first time.

Be aware of how you:

think
look
sound

HOW YOU THINK: It all begins with how you think, your state of mind. Getting the right mindset it critical to what type of impression you make. It's more than just "thinking positively" -- it's using proof and logic to prepare yourself BEFORE you meet with someone. Recall all the times you made wonderful impressions -- those are proof that you can do it, because you've done it before. What's one thing about meeting people that you know you do well? Hang on to that thought. How you think lays the groundwork for the interaction.
HOW YOU LOOK: You have a certain body type. We all do. The secret is knowing how to use your body posture, gestures, and dressing to make the type of impression you desire. How you look may be very different from another person, and that's the beauty of it! You are blessedly unique. It will serve you to learn how to use your posture and gestures that reflect the "real you" that you are and want to be. Knowing how to use those features to your benefit, to project the image you know authentically reflects YOU is the process of making a great -- and honest -- impression. (So is knowing how to give a good handshake. Do you know how?).
HOW YOU SOUND: Your voice is one of the most effective tools you have at your disposal for projecting a confident and self-assured impression. The tone, the pace, the volume all give different messages. Again, there is no "right" or "wrong" way, just different ways. The one that's right for YOU depends on the type of impression you want to leave. How you use your voice has huge impact on the image and degree of confidence that you portray. Talk too fast, and you appear nervous. Talk too slow, you may be judged as hesitant and indecisive. Knowing how to use your voice properly gives you control.

There are key ways to think that will increase your chances of connecting with new people. It begins with mindset and it builds from there. How you think affects the way you look and sound. It's so simple once you believe in yourself and know what to do. You have every reason to feel confident and make a great impression, and with the tips above, you'll be able to do so even more easily. Now that's impressive.

PS: want to learn lots more practical and powerful ways to appear confident (even when you don't feel it)? Sign up for my December1, 2011, webinar http://bit.ly/appear-confident

Comments about this article? Go one and post them on my blog at http://www.marionspeaks.com/_blog/Marions_Communication_Tips

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Calm Your Nervous Hands

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Calm Your Nervous Hands

Do you ever do presentations or speak up at meetings of some sort? Perhaps you're a volunteer or in the training field. Everyone has a reason to present his or her perspective at some point. When you do, are you aware what your body is doing? In particular, do you know if your hand movements are enhancing or detracting from your message?

Some time ago, I had a colleague contact me because he had a communication challenge: he was having difficulty doing presentations. Why? He found his hands were moving wildly as he spoke. In an effort to calm them down, he found himself clasping his hands in front of his body (rather tightly) for most of the presentation. Ah yes, the traditional "fig leaf" stance. Adam and Eve would be very proud of him. Unfortunately, his colleagues weren't.

When you're anxious about something, like presenting, for example, your body produces gushes of stress chemicals including cortisol and adrenalin. With those drugs coursing through your body, it's no wonder that you feel a jolt of energy -- and it has to come out somehow. Sometimes, it manifests itself as nervous twitches or fast paced speech. Sometimes, it's in the hands.

If you find that you're falling prey to this syndrome, here's some hands-on (pun intended) techniques that will help you tame your fidgety fingers. The trick is not to focus on simply stopping the behavior, rather, it is more productive to "replace" it. When you're breaking a habit of any sort, stopping it alone only creates a void, and that void hurts or is filled by something that may not serve you. Think smokers who stop cold turkey ... and then gain tons of weight. Instead, consciously decide on a productive replacement for the behavior you're curbing. Here's some suggestions.

REPLACE NERVOUS HANDS WITH DECISIVE GESTURES:

incorporate more hand gestures into your presentations
allow your hands time to just rest by your sides and let gravity do the work
become aware of your hand gestures -- awareness is the first step to change
take steps to become less stressed and nervous about presentations (e.g., prepare, practice, do more of them).

If you have the same challenge of not knowing what to do with your hands during presentations, try these tips. Soon your movements will look and feel so natural, your focus will be on your presentation instead of your hands and your effectiveness in communicating will be enhanced. Hands down.

Comments about this article? Go one and post them on my blog below. Share your viewpoint and get communicating!

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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Replace Credibility Stoppers with Credibility Starters

Marion Grobb Finkelstein - Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Replace Credibility Stoppers with Credibility Starters

Do you ever wonder about the words you use and the impact they have on how people perceive you? Whether you realize it or not, your choice of words may not be serving you well. You may be undermining your communication.

How you speak and the words you use do one of two things:

build your credibility or rob you of it.

There are many ways that people erode their credibility. One of the most prevalent credibility stoppers I see (and ladies, pay attention, because we tend to do this more then men ...) is what I call "uptalk" .This is when everything a person says sounds like a question. Think California “valley girls” and teenage girls of almost any North American location who end just about every phrase with an upward inflection. Not only is this speech pattern incredibly distracting, it robs you of your credibility.

You may recognize what I mean by "uptalk". You hear other people do it and you know how distracting it can be. What you may not realize is if YOU are using it or not. Here's three ways to discover if you do so or not:

HOW TO DISCOVER IF YOU USE "UPTALK" OR NOT:

1) Have a colleague be your "uptalk" counter

2) Record yourself

3) Become aware and listen to yourself

The best way to critique any aspect of your communication, is to have a trusted source be your ears and eyes and provide constructive feedback. Select your colleague wisely and make sure that his or her communication style meets your needs. If you're looking for bottom line, give-me-the-facts feedback, find someone who can give you that gets right to it. Alternately, if you respond more effectively to a gentle and nurturing approach, look around for a colleague who approaches communication in that fashion.

Recording yourself is an excellent method to become painfully aware if uptalk has found its way into your vernacular. Listen to your outgoing voicemail message. Next time you leave a voicemail to someone, listen to it before you leave it -- check it for any uptalk and if you find any, re-record it until there is none. If you're doing a presentation or attending a meeting, discreetly clip a mic to your lapel and record til your heart's content. I often record my presentations and become painfully aware of all my speaking idiosyncrasies. You will too.

Finally, and perhaps most difficult, is simply being aware and noticing when you use uptalk. Listen to yourself. Be in the moment. Be a detective of your own speech pattern. If you find you are using uptalk, avoid the temptation to whip yourself. Instead, comment yourself for noticing! Pat yourself on the back every time you are aware of your own uptalk, because being aware that you just said it is just one step away from being aware just BEFORE you say it. And that's progress.

REPLACE UPTALK WITH CREDIBILITY STARTERS

To communicate with confidence, end your sentences firmly on a down note. Try it now. Say, “I have a red car?” (up-talk). It’s tentative, questioning, and in its most extreme use, speaking like this may make you sound a little (how to say this politely?) flighty, ditsy, airhead-like and most certainly, uncertain. Now try the very same sentence ending on a down note, "I have a red car". It’s strong, affirmative, powerful. Which impression would you prefer to give?

Uptalk may be stopping you from presenting a confident self-image to others. And if it is, now you now what to do about it (said with a "down note" -- that's a statement, not a question, because I know it to be true. Try it and see for yourself).

Comments about this article? Go one and post them on my blog at http://www.marionspeaks.com/_blog/Marions_Communication_Tips

PS: I'm planning a special series of sessions I'm anxious to tell you about. Stay tuned in the next few weeks for some exciting news!

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

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