Marion's Communication Tips

I bet at some point, you’ve been verbally attacked. It could be something a colleague or family member says. Or it might not be a word at all, just a judgmental raise of an eyebrow that says all. You want to snap something back, but what? You are at a complete loss for words, stumped, and tongue tied. You morph into a statue.

Maybe an hour or a day later, you think of the perfect response. Oh, it’s so witty, classy and cleverly worded. You whip yourself for being stymied at the time of the affront.  Why, you ask yourself, does your brain dry up and your wit fail you when you need them the most?


Dr. John Leach is one of the world’s leading experts on survival psychology. He teaches at Lancaster University in the UK and has coined a phrase called, “Incredulity Response”.  This is when you simply don’t believe what you’re seeing or hearing. You tell yourself, “This really isn’t happening”, and you continue to go about your own business. You pretend everything is OK and don’t respond to the danger.

In scientific terms, this incredulity response normally applies to people’s responses in time of physical disasters – fires, floods, robberies, traffic accidents. You're motionless.  You can’t think straight. You have paralysis by analysis and brain freeze.

Although Dr. Leach was studying physical attacks and responses, I believe there is also value in applying this science principle to how you communicate, and more specifically, how you respond – or don’t  -- when you feel verbally attacked.  

Dr. Leach says that in times of danger, it’s normal to freeze to some extent. What’s important is the speed with which you recover from it. He says that in the face of a serious physical threat, someone may offer to make you a cup of tea, or get you a blanket. He suggests that it’s far better to do it yourself because going through the motions prompts your brain to function to coordinate movements.  He explains that once your brain gets going with a routine task, it kick starts the rest of the brain and ups your chances of being able to respond with a clear mind.

1.     ADJUST your thinking to a routine task or observation. Just for a moment, think of something routine, ordinary and neutral. It could be objectively noticing the tone of your assailant’s voice. Maybe you focus on what he’s wearing.  Perhaps it’s daisies in a field or recounting the alphabet. Whatever it is, make sure it’s neutral, unemotional observation, and second nature to you.
2.     BREATHE.  When you’re faced with a threat, even a verbal one, a natural response is to hold your breath. You might not even realize you’re doing it. Take a moment, a few seconds to focus on your breathing -- and make sure you are. Not only does this give you a point of focus, it physically prepares you to think clearly. All that oxygen you’re introducing to your brain will nourish and ready it to respond.
3.     CHANGE YOUR POSITION. Shift your physical position. Be aware of body language and consciously move into a receptive, open stance. Relax your palms (you might, unknowingly, be clenching your hands into fists). Point your toes of at least one foot toward the person (it’s instinct to turn away from those you want to avoid, so move toward him or her to connect instead). Assume eye contact without staring -- if you stare, it appears as aggressive.

Next time when you believe you’re being verbally beat up on, feel tongue tied, and you just can’t believe what you’re seeing and hearing, let science work for you to shake off this “incredulity response”.  No need to stand there as a victim and be abused. With these techniques, you’ll untie your tongue, thaw your frozen brain and be in a far better position to respond.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks 

© 2012 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Have you ever gone to a job interview and absolutely bombed? You stumbled over questions you know you could answer and then, much to your chagrin, you thought of the perfect response a day later. Or maybe you were so nervous, your brain shut down completely and went blank. Your nervousness may have been misperceived as lack of confidence in your ability to do the job and the interview went downhill from there.

It was a painful experience you promised yourself you would never live it again. Here's the good news.

This Thursday, you could change how you present yourself at your next job interview ...

Imagine feeling confident about job interviews, being sure how to respond to those dreaded questions, and know how to present the "best you" and up your chances for landing your dream job. If this is where you want to be and how you want to feel, then this Thursday, March 15 one-hour webinar is for you. You'll discover:

• how to use your body language to let them know you're really interested in this job
  
• secrets to build your confidence
• tips to make a great first impression ... even before you begin the interview
  
• the one thing NEVER to ask at a job interview
• how to respond to your most dreaded interview questions
• what to do before, during and after the interview to increase your chances of success
  

Thursday, 15 March 2012 Webinar... $99.

WEBINAR: THE "BEST YOU" JOB INTERVIEW.

http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

There are many reasons why people succeed or fail at job interviews. After decades of hiring employees and being interviewed myself, I've learned how good communication can make job interviews ... and job interviews can make or break careers. In one short hour, I'll share dozens of tips and suggestions that could make a difference to you and your career.

"Excellent presentation -- wish it was longer!", "Could have listened for hours", "An uplifting and encouraging presentation -- well done!"
Attendees of Marion's webinars

Executives have paid $250 for an hour of my coaching advice. Organizations invest 4-digit figures for me to present for an hour. And your investment for one hour live webinar hour with me is a fraction of these fees at only $99. If you land that new job, will you be making $99 more than you do now? Likely, you will.

YOU: "But I'm at work and can't listen to the live webinar"

ME: "No problem -- I email you a weblink to the recording you can listen to at your convenience!"

If you can't make the live webinar, don't worry about it. You can email your questions in advance and you'll get a handout along with a weblink so you can listen to the session multiple times when it's convenient for you.

One hour, and you can change your next job interview. The choice is yours.

LIMITED CAPACITY, SO GRAB YOUR SEAT TODAY:  http://www.marionspeaks.com/marions-products/webinars/webinar-singles

While you're checking out this webinar, take a peek at my webinar packages for extra savings.  You can choose from a collection of 12 amazing monthly communication webinars. Register for one webinar ... or get a package of 3, 6, 9 or the dynamo dozen. The more you buy, the more you SAVE.

PS: If you're interested in taking advantage of the EXTRA SAVINGS with the webinar packages and prefer to pay in installments, email me at Marion@MarionSpeaks.com and I'll arrange multiple payments for your convenience.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

3 Tips to Control Emotions When Presenting

Do you ever get emotional when presenting? Picture yourself in front of a Board of decision-makers, pleading approval for a project in which you desperately believe. Maybe you're on a platform relaying personal details of your life for a fundraising event. It could be a meeting with your bank manager asking for a loan that you know is the life blood to the business you've worked hard to build that now rests on this decision. Whatever it is that you're presenting is wracked with emotion, and if you don't keep that emotion in check, it may come spilling out.

Showing some emotion is wonderful. In fact, it's a strength. It speaks of passion and commitment. Emotion is what connects you to others in your life. It's one of the very things that makes you human. It's a good thing.

Like any good thing, too much is not so good.

When you're presenting, whether it's one on one or to a conference of hundreds, displaying too much emotion is awkward, uncomfortable, and difficult to witness. It makes you and your audience feel out of place. Think about the last time you felt yourself go over the top with emotion to the point that you burst forth in tears of sadness or utter frustration, and then that silence that followed. The seconds just crawl by. You find yourself thinking, "Oh boy, just let the earth open up and swallow me now!". The tension hangs in the air, thick and oppressive. You can bet your audience is feeling it too.

In my session, "ABCs of Presentations", we touch on lots of challenges and solutions in giving presentations. A question that often comes up is how to control emotions. When you feel yourself on the edge of control, when you know you're about to lose it and say or do something so full of emotion that it will not serve you well, there's three things you can do immediately to grab back control. Here's another "ABC" you can use.

3 TIPS TO GET CONTROL OF EMOTION WHEN PRESENTING:
     A - Adjust how you think
     B - Breathe
     C - Change your position

1) ADJUST HOW YOU THINK -- Think of something that is void of emotion. I suggest something from nature that is calming, allows for your mind to focus and clear out, and makes room for calmness. Think daisies in a field. Or a fish tank. Or a tree with leaves waving in the breeze. Or a flake of snow falling gently to the earth. Or the beauty of a brilliantly cut diamond. Think of anything that puts your mind into a zen state of passive observation. You choose -- and choose BEFORE your presentation, so you have the visual ready when you need it.

2) BREATHE. Yup, sounds basic, doesn't it? It is. And just as basic is the response of your body to hold your breath when you feel overwhelmed. Emotion increases your stress levels and physiologically, your body responds by releasing stress-inducing brain drugs and chemicals like cortisol and adrenalin. The antidote to these feel-stress drugs is oxygen. So stop for a moment, just a second or two, and take a deep and discreet breath. No one even needs to know you're doing it.

3) CHANGE YOUR POSITION -- Physically move. Change your position. Motion changes emotion. Let me repeat that -- motion changes emotion. When you shift your physical state, it shifts your mental state. The very gesture of shifting your seating position, moving a bit or a lot, changes your perspective and helps you to transition to a different frame of mind. If you're angry or frustrated beyond words, you could excuse yourself and politely leave the room for a moment. When you return, the world will look different to you. If you're on stage or presenting in front of a group of any size, take a couple steps to the left or right, and then begin fresh with another point, or a controlled and eloquent summary that is not dripping in emotion.

Allowing your emotion to control your communications doesn't serve your purpose. Instead, too much emotion muddies your message. People will remember the emotion, not the message.

Let's be clear here -- emotion in a presentation is good. We're talking degree here, and too much. Displaying your emotion in the right amount adds value to your presentations. When you do so, you move the audience to a place of understanding, compassion and action. By showing your emotion versus being controlled by it, you demonstrate that you are very human, have faced difficulties and (here's the key) have come out the other end. You give hope and leave your audience on an upbeat note.

If you find that it's just too difficult to share yourself publicly without being swept away in a tidal wave of unstoppable emotion, then perhaps this story is not quite ready to be shared. The audience wants resolution, and the knowledge that you've found a solution to your challenge, and that's what you deserve too. When you find that happy ending of some sort, and only then, bring that story and a degree of controllable emotion to your audience. And if, in telling that deeply personal experience, you find yourself near the precipice and about to slip over the edge of emotion -- change the way you think, breathe and move, and you'll change the way you communicate. 

Remember, someone needs to hear your message.

Comments about this article? Post them below. (Sharing what you think is a chance to communicate, assert yourself and build community).

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein helps biz people across Canada and beyond improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Watch Your Language

Think about the last time you were upset, so ripping mad you could scream. Now think about the words and language you told yourself or others. Did your language become more, um, er ... "colorful"? Was it exceptionally emotive and passionate? Did it make a sailor blush? (No offence to sailors ;o)

Sure, there's a time and a place for just about every type of language and vocabulary. Chatting with friends or a confidante, go ahead and let it all hang out. Vent until your heart is content. However, when it comes to matters of the workplace, choose your words carefully. Once you say them, they can't be unsaid. Sure, you can apologize, make a joke of it, treat it as lightly as possible, and that might work. It might not. Just like trying to unscramble eggs, there's no undoing words that have been spoken. They will hang in the air and affect relationships and reputations.

Before someone lashes out and says something inappropriate, there's usually an event or series of events leading up to this climax. It's often a small incident that triggers what seems to be an overreaction. Here's the key:

COMMUNICATION TIP:  speak out while you still are in control

Sometimes, you're upset and you tell yourself to say nothing. You squish down the anger, the sadness, the disappointment. You tell yourself to suck it up and move forward. Yet, deep in your heart, that "something" still bothers you. It keeps you up at night. It consumes your free moments. You find yourself fantasizing about really telling a person off. You have make-believe conversations to this irritating work mate as if he or she were standing beside you and you were saying what's really on your mind ... and boy, do you! These are all signs that you're reaching a limit. Address the issue before a straw breaks the camel's back and you snap. Be aware when something is bothering you, and then (this is the tough part), manage the situation.

Like many tough times in life, it boils down to you having three choices:

CHOICE #1) accept it (which means that truly, in your heart, you're OK with the situation, the person, the status quo. You have no more right or compunction to complain)
CHOICE #2) change it (change your reaction, how you respond)
CHOICE #3) leave (remove yourself from the situation or irritant)

Suppose you choose to "change it", to do something about how you are reacting. It might be that there’s someone in your life you need to speak to, candidly. You know if you do it wrongly, you’ll blow the relationship. And (here’s the catch) you need that person in your life. Try this …

• Write your response. Draft your response, let the emotions pour … then go back and edit them out. Get rid of all the superlatives and excessive passion. Choose the rational, calm, and logical approach to communicating your concerns.
• Give yourself time. If you need some down time, a few moments, hours or days to assess and respond professionally to a disturbing situation, then take it. If someone is waiting for your response, let them know you're working on it and when he or she could reasonably expect your answer.
• Present your viewpoint without the emotion. Use neutral language and stick to the facts. In doing so, you’ll increase the chance that your message will not only be heard, but that the recipient will actively listen and consider what you are saying.

When your message is swimming in a river of emotion, it may well get swept away. That doesn't serve you well at all. The only thing your colleagues will remember is your emotion, not the message. Strong language evokes equally strong responses. Sticking to the facts, using neutral language, speaking in a non-accusatory way is the quickest way for you to get to the bottom of the situation. It's this style of communication that will position you as the professional you truly are.

Remove excessive emotion, and increase the probability that your message will be received loud and clear, and your relationships will stay in tact.

Comments about this article? I invite you to post them on my blog below

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communication specialist, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

THE 24-HOUR RULE

Have you ever found yourself in that awkward situation where you’re disappointed, upset or angry with someone and you don’t know quite how to tell them? It happens everyday in workplaces across the country.

When a situation is especially volatile, emotions run high, and when emotions run high, people say things they probably shouldn't. When you feel threatened, attacked or think you have a lot to lose, your instinct may be to run and hide (flight) or to fight back, hard. Running away is seldom the right thing to do, though it does have its place. Perhaps putting up a fight is exactly the right response, though replying with a knee-jerk, angst-filled reaction is not. It just won't serve you well.

Susan was a manager is a large national non-profit organization. She worked very closely with other managers and was quite successful at getting things done through influence, as she had no direct authority over the divisions of her peers. She got along with everyone except one. His name was David and he was a son-of-a-gun.

David would respond to Susan's email with point-by-point lengthy rebuttals. He would cc a barrage of people on emails which appeared to Susan as though he were grandstanding in front of an audience. Instead of working collaboratively, it appeared that he fought her solid, well-presented recommendations every step of the way.

Susan's normal response was to reply politely, professionally and promptly to David's emails that came to feel like public attacks. To break the email monotony and in the hopes of making a personal connection, every now and then she picked up the phone and responded immediately verbally then followed up with a written reply. All this was taking enormous amounts of energy and time. The opportunity cost was that Susan came in early and worked late to stay on top of the rest of her workload. It was exhausting and sucked the fun out of going in to the office every day. Every time it seemed that Susan reached out to reply to David, her hand was slapped.

Then she had an epiphany: change the dance.

After too many sleepless nights, Susan realized that she could change the dynamics of her working relationship with David by changing how she responded to him. No more would she respond immediately, especially on volatile subjects. She decided she would apply the "24-hour rule". That is, she would draft or think about her response then sit on it for 24 hours before sending it. It worked. David continued dashing off detail-laden emails, several a day, and when he got no immediate response, the emails slowed down. Susan's responses were less harried, more strategic and general in nature, and the 24-hour rule gave her more time to tend to her many other duties.

Perhaps you've found yourself in a situation similar to Susan (true story, names have been changed) where you've felt pressured to respond, or you were so upset you wanted to respond immediately. Something angers you and you feel you must reply to preserve your reputation or to present your argument before a decision is made or an action taken. Sometimes time really is of the essence, though, more often, waiting a day to respond is completely reasonable.

COMMUNICATION TIP: Apply the 24-hour rule. Give yourself time before you respond.

When dealing with a prickly, emotionally charged subject, cool your jets before you communicate. Give yourself 24 hours to breathe, to step back, gain perspective and plan how you will best connect. Then, once you've had a chance to gather your thoughts and compile a response that's going to work best for you and others, move to action. This measured approach will save relationships ... and careers.

I have found the “24-hour” rule to be invaluable. It has helped me many times over the years. And it’s available to help you too. Before responding with knee-jerk emotion, before picking up the phone or pushing “send” on the email, give it 24 hours. You’ll appreciate the difference a day makes. So will your colleague on the receiving end.

Comments about this article? Share them below by posting a blog.

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life,
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve morale, confidence and productivity by changing how they communicate. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks or sign up for her FREE weekly e-newsletter "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Do you ever lose your cool? Ah, c'mon, honestly now. If you say, "no", you're fibbing. Everyone loses it, sometimes. It's normal. It's natural. And it can be a career stopper if you let it. Losing your cool alters not just the effectiveness of your communications --  it can alter your relationships forever. The key is controlling your temper, before it controls you.

This past Sunday night, I grabbed my cuppa tea and nestled into the couch for our weekly ritual -- watching "The Apprentice". I love observing the communication between all the players and find the drama of interpersonal dynamics fascinating. This week did not disappoint. At the top of the show, Nene, a rather brash and outspoken woman, went completely ballistic on Star Jones. What an scene! And she did it right in front of the client launching the challenge for the two competing teams. At that point, I had to wonder if the client wrote off Nene's team (Nene was Project Leader) because of her outburst. Have you ever been discounted or discounted someone else due to a temper tantrum?

In the workplace, the tension and stress levels can be quite similar to this scenario, though we might contain it with a little more class. Few people (thankfully) behave as bombastically as Nene did. That doesn't mean that we don't sometimes fantasize doing so. The challenge is, how to control your temper when you feel so frustrated you could scream? These tips will get you on your way:

• LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AND BREATHE: Be aware of the stress signals your body is sending you. Be in the moment and conscious of what's happening. Cortisone is coursing through your veins, your blood pressure is soaring, and chances are, you're holding your breath. The antidote? Breathe. Breathe mindfully and deeply. Feel the stress drain from your being. Your body will thank you, and it will help you gain back control.

• REMEMBER THE BIG PICTURE AND FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE: When colleagues push your buttons, chances are they don't even realize they're doing so. Normally, there is no intent at all to drive you nuts (unless they're "bullies", and that's a whole other ball game). In the absence of anything proving otherwise, assume that your antagonist's actions are not deliberate. Think about your relationship with this person as a whole, and consider this action that is prompting your potential outburst as an isolated incident. Even if this person has pushed your buttons before, consider this incident, whatever it might be, as a small portion of the whole relationship. Remember the good parts, gain perspective.

• POLITELY EXCUSE YOURSELF AND REMOVE YOURSELF: If you can't contain yourself, remove yourself. You know when you're about to lose it, so read the signs and put yourself in a place where you can regain control. If that means taking a "time out", do it. If you don't know your limits and aren't sure when you're reaching your boiling point, educate yourself -- become a student of your own emotional barometer, and know the warning signs before you surrender to your outburst.

•  HOLD YOUR TEMPER NOT FOR THEM ... DO IT FOR YOU. No one wants to witness your temper tantrum, no matter how justifiable it may be in your mind. Such outbursts could distance you from other colleagues -- they may not want to be associated with someone known as "hot-headed". Your losing your cool may damage not only one relationship you have, but many. Put a lid on it, not just out of respect for the other person (whether they deserve it or not) -- do it out of respect for yourself, your relationships, and your career. Keeping your cool will best serve you.

•  REMEMBER, YOU CAN'T UNRING THE BELL. Once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. They irrevocably change relationships. Even with apologies and explanations, the words still hang there in the air, often pushing people apart and nudging them further mired into their polar-opposite positions. When speaking in anger, people share the unvarnished secrets of their darkest hearts, without benefit of tact and diplomacy. It can be ugly and distasteful. The price for that fleeting moment of "feel good" may be a lifetime of regret. COMM TIP: Watch the words you spit out because one day, you may have to swallow them.

In the final analysis, losing your temper won't serve you well. It will destroy relationships and paint you as an unprofessional hot-head. Regardless of what you think of the other person, don't you deserve more? Hold your tongue, hold your relationships.

PS: I'd love to hear your thoughts about how holding your temper. Just post your comments below. 

Until next time, here's to ...
Better communication, Better business, Better life!
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve their businesses and their lives by improving their communications. Chat with her Facebook www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  or sign up for her FREE weekly e-newsletter "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

When I was in university earning my Biz Admin degree, several decades ago (yeeks!), there was lots of speculation by the futurists and scholars about how much "spare time" we all would have in future years. Well, those future years are now here, and boy, did they have that one wrong. We're all busier than ever! And that makes communication even more challenging.

With technology, we're "plugged in" all the time. Expectations of response times have never been so high. We are being pulled in every direction and interrupted constantly with pings from our mobile devices, phone calls, social media and people knocking on our office doors with enquiries. Here's a tip that will serve you and the people you're working with:

COMM TIP: Batch, batch, batch

Batching like tasks together and doing them all at once is a HUGE time-saver. Research suggests that every time we are interrupted, it takes about 15 minutes for us to get our mind back to where we were. This greatly impacts productivity and adds to our stress levels. Batching helps to simplify that.

For the next week, try batching together your return phone calls, your email, your social media. Block off an appropriate amount of time to attack the pile and stay focused. Close your door if you need to. Turn off your email alert if you find it distracting. Stick a sign on your door "please do not disturb, meeting in progress". Resist the temptation to grab the phone or even to glance over and see who's calling. Stay on course.

Yes, there are exceptions to this approach -- and I'm not going to get into them right now. We're talking about creating a new approach to how you group your communication tasks so you have time to both respond AND to communicate proactively. So just for now, no free passes.

Here's another wonderful thing about batching: not only does it save you time and stress -- use it with your clients, colleagues and bosses and you will be saving them time and stress too!

• COMM TIP: Have "batch sessions" with your clients, colleagues and bosses ;o)

 

(PS: Yes, I see the humor in the above point and reference to "batch sessions". It's deliberate because, although communication challenges are no joking matter, maintaining a sense of humor is a strategy to handling stress -- it helps)

Batch together all the little questions you have and ask them all at once in one email, one phone call, or one visit. You will appear super organized and very respectful of other people's time. It's a great technique to earn a reputation of being professional and easy to work with... and (here's the best part) ... it will help YOU too. You can even ask them to do the same.

Making time for communications can be difficult. Using the "batch technique" will lighten your load just a bit and provide some relief. And when your thinking about activities to schedule and batch together, remember to take time to note all the communications you did right. So, what are you waiting for? Batch away!

Until next time, here's to ...
Positive communication,
Productive relationships,
Powerful results!
Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com
www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  

© 2011 Marion Grobb Finkelstein
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve their businesses and their lives by improving their communications. Chat with her Facebook www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks  or sign up for her FREE weekly e-newsletter "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

 

Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel lousy? You're exhausted, tired and a little under the weather. I've felt a little like that for the past couple days, battling a summer cold. No fun. This was a weekend of heavy socializing and entertaining -- people sleeping over, movies, couples for dinner, fireplaces with smores, manicures, homebaked bread and cookies, loads of laundry and oh yes, completing reports and getting back to some colleagues. Even though we're slowed down doesn't mean life is. The world keeps turning and it's tough to keep up. At these times, it's even more tough to communicate productively.

DELEGATE: Speak to yourself honestly and determine what you personally need to do, and what someone else could do instead -- and delegate the latter. This means the fun stuff too. Get it off your plate and now. In the workplace, this might mean asking a colleague to fill in a chart with the data you need, or an employee to call someone on your behalf, or your boss to recommend the next step in a project. Delegate whatever you can to keep the project moving forward.

STREAMLINE AND SIMPLIFY: Cut out the items and actions that are not absolutely necessary at this time. Move into "triage mode". Identify the mission-critical actions and drop the others by the wayside. Maybe you forget the spiffy animation wows in your presentation, but you get it done. Or instead of referencing 5 studies in your business case, you refer to only three. Or you delay a response a couple days to buy yourself some time when until you're feeling better. Communicate this short-term approach to your team, especially if it flies in the face of normal procedure.

BITE YOUR TONGUE: When we're not feeling well, we all have a shorter fuse. We can snap more readily at others, even those who are helping us. Don't do it! Recognize what's happening, that your nerves are frayed, that your tolerance is negligible. Remind yourself that these people you find irritating right now are the very people who are there to support you and are doing their best. These are the people who will be there for you when you're back in the saddle and feeling 100%. Bite your tongue and don't burn bridges or say things you'll regret. Just because you feel poorly is no excuse to treat people poorly.

IT'S OK TO BE HUMAN: We preserve our relationships by knowing our limits and cutting ourselves some slack. Admit to yourself that it's OK to be human and let people know when you're not feeling 100%. A couple days is not going to end the world. It's alright to say you don't feel great and can't deal with the challenges you normally waltz through and welcome. Let them know why you're not performing per your norm and when they can expect you to be back to your regular, producing self.  

While we may be able to juggle many things at the best of times, illness can affect our productivity, humble us to our knees, and change the way we communicate. When we're sick is the time we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our communications. 

Find solace in knowing that you'll likely be feeling better soon and that you'll soon return to the workplace with your normal vim and vigor. Until then, if you're not feeling 100%, try using these tips above to ensure that your communications remain 100% in tact. Until then, take two minutes to plan your strategy, and call it a new start in the morning.  

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Until next time, here's to ...
Positive communication,
Productive relationships,
Powerful results!

Marion Grobb Finkelstein
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author
www.MarionSpeaks.com
Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

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© 2010 Marion Grobb Finkelstein

 

 

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